Humor

Of Time and Space

Image | | antilandscaper

I collect clocks and watches

For I can’t seem to keep Time

Clocks all around the house

Each set to slightly different Time

A minute forward here

A couple minutes set back there

So as I wander

Around my home

I have that sense

Of traveling thru Time and Space

Side-note: the clock by my door is always set

4 minutes ahead,

so as I’m leaving

I tend to feel like I’m running late

Happy UN-Valentine’s Day

Image | | antilandscaper

Say it ain’t so

Yet it is carved in stone

Laid to rest

A lifetime of searching

Has it been for nothing ?

Well I guess there won’t be

A need for cards, flowers or candies

Unless of course I get them for me

P.S. Please don’t show this post to my wife

She doesn’t usually think I’m funny

And this won’t help

Disclaimer: Just so you know, I do love my wife and I buy her chocolate every week just to keep her happy

I Duck Taped My Wife

Image | | antilandscaper

Years of living with someone

It’s a Yin and Yang thing

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Compromise  with a kiss on the cheek

Anger, yet cuddling in bed

Hand holding or rolling of one’s eyes

Yet there are times

Like when the wife asks you to duck tape her

How excited the thought is, I’m sure that is no surprise

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No, no, no, no

Don’t let your imaginations run wild

For it wasn’t anything like that!!

Let the picture below, make it perfectly clear

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A dress form made for an individual

So long as the evening snacks are limited

A duct taped wife without a head, covered up for modesty sake

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To repeat those words of a sort-of famous neighbor to the north

Canada’s Red Green loosely translated

“If you can’t fix it with duct tape

It’s probability not worth fixing”