Humor

I Duck Taped My Wife

Image | | antilandscaper

Years of living with someone

It’s a Yin and Yang thing

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Compromise  with a kiss on the cheek

Anger, yet cuddling in bed

Hand holding or rolling of one’s eyes

Yet there are times

Like when the wife asks you to duck tape her

How excited the thought is, I’m sure that is no surprise

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No, no, no, no

Don’t let your imaginations run wild

For it wasn’t anything like that!!

Let the picture below, make it perfectly clear

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A dress form made for an individual

So long as the evening snacks are limited

A duct taped wife without a head, covered up for modesty sake

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To repeat those words of a sort-of famous neighbor to the north

Canada’s Red Green loosely translated

“If you can’t fix it with duct tape

It’s probability not worth fixing”

 

 

Happiness and Good Luck?

Image | | antilandscaper

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They say the Blue bird brings happiness and that my be so.

Usually I’m glad to see one

Yet when it flies around your parked car day after day

Acting like it wants to keep getting into the closed windows

You have to wonder why?

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Then you realize when you go to take out the car

That as it has been flying around the car

It has been pooing all over the sides.

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They say that a bird pooping on your  person, car or property

Supposedly it brings good luck,

Not sure where that myth, or superstition comes from

But I wonder is the good luck mine or the car rental business?

 

In a Fog

Image | | antilandscaper

I’m in a Fog today

Can’t seem to find my mind

Looked on the ground it wasn’t there

Thou I realized I was wearing one left shoe,

one right boot

I have been to the PO and to the mall

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Oh, I think I better head home

Maybe my mind is there ?

Or at least, there should be one right shoe and/or one left boot

Note to self: add more light where you get dress

Cold Feet

Image | | antilandscaper

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The sun is surely in the winter doldrums
Its’ shows up late every morning
And leaving early at the end of the day
With no enthusiasm to share any of its’ warmth

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What about the rest of us
Caught up in the sun’s cyclical moods
Having to face all on our own
Arctic cold fronts,
Cars that won’t start
Furnaces that won’t shut off
With cold feet, cold hands and faces
And (SAD) Seasonal Affective Disorder

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Yes we could leave
Enticed by family and friends
Who boast of warmer climes
Of topical islands
Lust and green

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But what about the others
Who have to remain behind
Now that the holidays are over
Who can they complain too?
What is misery if it can’t be shared
So we stay put
With the other fools
And do our countdown
To when the sun may change her mood

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